Still no

word aside from a generic Happy Thanksgiving. I must find a way to accept what is. I have gone out with 2 more guys. Same result as the first. Perhaps my standards are too high, or perhaps I am choosing them because I know they will not be what I want or need. All I know for sure is that I have to get past the pain. It is not healthy for the kids to see me crying so often, but there are times the sorrow and grief overwhelm we. I try to hide it from them as best I can.

Jackson will be 5 on Friday. I am creating a Thomas the tank engine cake for him. Madi will be 3 shortly after the new year, she wants a cake thats Dora the explorer. No surprise there! She will not be going into the PALS program after all. She tested as high normal in her functions. Heather is going to try and get her into head start. Never have I seen a child so anxious to go to school!

I had a routine CT on my spine 3 months ago to check the fusion and see if it is still solid. The fusion is solid, but they also found 2 lesions on my vertebrae. No idea what they are, was told anything from hemangioma to metastatic cancer. The follow up CT was done last week, and the lesions are GONE. Proof once again that God is working in my life. All my lab work was normal as well. Amazing!