First day of a new year. Managed 2.5 hours of sleep thanks to a 4 year old sleeping sideways in my bed and a bad case of swimmers ear. My daughters kitten decided he wanted to overturn and dump 35 ponds of litter then cover my ENTIRE bathroom floor in it! That was such fun to clean up!
Cooked corned beef with cabbage and potatoes for dinner. The 4 year old loves the veggies but not so fond of corned beef. The 2 year old loves corned beef and not the veggies.
The 10 year old made a trip to the E.R. with a case of pink eye. Please God none of the other kids catch it!
Tony has told me twice today that he loves me. I have no idea how he can say that this early in a relationship! I am not nearly to the place where I can even entertain the idea of letting anyone into my heart. I do not want to hurt him, please God help me navigate this mine field.
Started a new bible study and daily devotional today as well. The devotional is a verse or two and a story that illustrates how it applies to our lives. The story today was nearly identical to the last conversation that John and I had. It was about our inner fear that if anyone really knew us they would not only not be able to love us, but would in fact detest us. I couldn’t read it without hearing the words John had said in my head. It is no easier not having him in my life than the day he walked out. I have so much healing to do. I have given John to God in prayer, many time over. Perhaps I am praying for my will rather than Gods in his life. I need to truly release him to God, but after so many years how can I?
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